Nick Abbot's LBC Soundboard

$8,737,540,000

They wanna make a deal so badly

Stuck with a man who's a moron

Correct

Goose and cuckoo

I'm just an old lady

Cuckoo

Donkey

This government

Woof, woof, woof

Ding-a-lings

I'm a very stable genius

Ummm

Peppa Pig World

Cheaper food, clothing and footwear (Full)

Kerching

Well, let's get back to it

It's the country's number one priority

I know words

Groovy

I am very sorry that I screwed up

I know a lot about wind

Smart people don't like me

My dog's been taken

A 'believe me' medley

Hello everyone

Quiet, quiet, quiet

Don't be rude

I'll protect women whether they like it or not

He is a very sick and dangerous man

Rishi’s plans (Nick edit)

Happy birthday

Dammit

I can't comment on that

Back in the studio, making a picture again

Quack, quack

Missiles launching

Nobody knows what magnets are

Okey Kokey

Is he crazy?

You're better informed than I am

Bernard Manning

I used to snort cocaine off of toilet seats

Our president will start a war with Iran

Pious platitudes of pompous politicians

Nobody's done more for religion

I don't wear a toupee

A big sack of monkey nuts

It blows my mind Nick

My dog's been taken

Grass has a life

I know more about grass

Screaming

Oh hello

Psst, wanna score some pot?

'Big Ben' bong

HAPPYness

Whoop-de-de-scoop-poop

Bing, bong!

He's not a racist, he's a good person

I know a lot about wind

I love the poorly educated

Be polite!

Booze

Laugh

If you do the numbers (Full Nick edit)

Get it in order, extra points (Full Nick edit)

We are thick, we are stupid.

Not fit and proper to be in government

I make 400 million dollars a year

Boat siren

I don't care

Are you still talking about Jeffrey Epstein?

Right whatever

Moo

Absolutely

I am the most fabulous whiner

Goofy laugh

I'm the only one that matters

I know nothing

I'll cherish women

I'm building a wall

Something should be done about it

There's no strategy

Brexit's going great

Brexit's never going to solve our problems

Your mind's a bit three dimensional

Whip crack

ding

Can i have an outside line please?

Oh hello there, very nice to meet you

Contact tracing

Affirmative

Yowser

Don't talk to the president that way

We should have a second referendum

Whinging and whining and moaning

I'm a nutcase

You're joking!

Bye bye

That is a disgrace

You don't have to use all that product in your hair

Much better country than them

What?!

Absolutely

Never had it so good

Stupifying ignorance

Gripping it

Thank you!

Squirt

Rock N Roll

Oh right yeah (normal)

No (slow)

Oh no

Come on we're running late

National anthem

I am not one of your fans!

No

No, no, no, no, no!

Ummmm?

I, I, I, I, I, I, I,

Hello!

Liar!

Hello!

Hahahahahaha

Few idiots in our party

This is absolute tosh

Gun

Everything's going extremely well

Hello!

Everybody to get from street

Don't vote for reform

Dreadful

Oh fabulous!

Crazy blah blah

Disgusting

Do not panic, do not panic!

Yeah

Cry

Oh right yeah (slow)

Right so what we doin'?

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Buzz

Boring

Great big greedy nincompoop

Here we go...ok!

Vroom vroom

Boooo!

Ahhhh!

Does anybody care what this guy thinks?

Absolutely

I'm genuinely unclear

Stop whining!

Trust me, I'm like a smart person

Kicked in the head by a horse

All I know is what's on the internet

Donald Trump is not a nice person

I'm president, can you believe it?

They're eating the people that live there

I'd like to punch him in the face

Hang about Nick

It's frankly a real disgrace

Cheaper food, clothing and footwear (Short)